Facebook has always been something that has irked me, but lately it’s just getting more and more unbearable.
I’ve apparently hit that age where everyone I went to school with, or have associated with at one time or another are growing up.
Getting mortgages, having babies, getting engaged and planning weddings. Sometimes I am filled with a mixture of rage and/or jealousy when people get engaged and shovel it down everyone on their friends list throat, (I’m well aware I sound like a miserable bastard). Yes, yes, everyone has the right to shout it from the rooftops when the one person they love declares that they want to spend the rest of their lives with them…but spare a thought for the ones whose partners don’t want that ey!? (There’s that jealousy creeping in)
Now I can be honest and say for the most part it is jealousy that I feel and the real rage comes from the ‘wedding planners’. Even when I was a little girl I never dreamed of having the big, white fairy tale wedding, and as I’ve gotten older that is probably one of the few things that I’m still certain about (much to my Mothers disappointment). I personally just don’t see the point.
On average it takes two years to plan a wedding and costs around £21,000 (according to the Guardian). Why bother?! What do you get from that apart from a huge amount of debt at the end of it.
Do you really need to have such a huge ceremony? Do you really need to invite the twice removed cousin that you have only met twice in your life?
To me a joining in matrimony is more about the gesture than the money…
Although my Boyfriend and I are not engaged, nor are we really thinking about anything too serious in our lives at the moment, I have always made it clear that money means nothing to me.
I have my engagement ring picked out, it’s not traditional, and diamonds do not feature heavily and more to the point it costs £200. Women that expect their partners to shell out ridiculous amounts of money on essentially a commodity…something that is produced and reproduced time and time again because there is a demand for it. Does that really have any sentiment behind it?! To me it just screams out that there is a need for attention, to have the biggest diamond sitting on your finger. To me, there is not a direct correlation between monetary value and love.
The same goes for weddings. To be honest, weddings to me are pretty much self masturbation and I find the whole notion incredibly cringe-worthy. The mere thought that a couple would believe that guests would want to go to all that effort just to watch them gush over how much they love each other, and how they can’t wait to spend the rest of their lives together. Aside from parents, grand-parents, siblings and a few close friends, who honestly would care?
For the past two-ish years, when the ‘serious’ topic of life and death has cropped up in conversation between my boyfriend and I, I have always stated that I want our wedding to be a small affair.
I want it to be something that is not planned, or rehearsed, or had every inch of fun sucked out of it because frankly it turned into one massive ball ache. I want it to be spontaneous and spare of the moment. As in, one day we’re shopping in town and decide to pull two random people off the street and ask them to witness our true and pure commitment to one another. I don’t want guests, no parents, grand-parents, family pets acting as ring bearers…none of that. Just my boyfriend and I, completely enjoying the moment where we commit to spending our lives together, because after all, who needs grand gestures when you have love?

NB: I realise this is a completely cynical view or marriage but it’s my view.

Christmas Time…

Christmas has never really been a time that I have enjoyed.  I lie, I enjoyed it when I was a child, what child doesn’t? But as I hit puberty and the ‘puppy fat’ developed into, well, not puppy fat, that’s when my dislike of the holiday began.  

Every year as Christmas draws closer, I get moody and irritable and my stomach is in knots thinking about the three or four days where food is a-plenty.  Every year I am reminded of the Christmas where I was twelve, my hormones were all over the place and I really wanted that third shortbread from the tin…I cried myself to sleep after hearing my Mum discuss how fat I was with basically anyone who would listen. It upsets me that ten years later I still let this bother me.

But not this year, I have began a strict diet, you know, ‘level 5 vegan, you don’t eat anything that casts a shadow’ and an exercise regime for the first time in twenty-two years, and as a result of this I am losing weight. So for the fist time, I am quite confidently going to have that extra roast potato, or the extra helping of trifle if I want it, because I deserve it.

For the first time, I’m actually looking forward to Christmas, I don’t know whether it is because of my new lifestyle or because I’m treating this as mine and my boyfriend’s first Christmas together.

My boyfriend and I have been together for four and a half years (the half is very important), and this is going to be our fifth Christmas together, but this year it just feels different…It’s our first Christmas alone together, in our own flat. Last year we shared a house with three other people and that was disastrous.  The house where we lived was cold, damp and smelly, and this just reinforced the feelings that I have always had about Christmas.  

This year I am the most organised I have ever been, I have all my Christmas presents and I’m actually looking forward to buying decorations and a tree for the flat.  

I am happy.

Taken with Instagram

Taken with Instagram



Let’s just be good to each other.

Things have changed so much. It’s amazing.

(Source: blistered-fingers, via 9090432-deactivated20140709)

I actually quite miss looking like a ginger Myra Hindley.  (Taken with Instagram)

I actually quite miss looking like a ginger Myra Hindley. (Taken with Instagram)

When I asked my boyfriend what this looked like on, he told me it looked like a hearing aid that a rapper would wear…heartbroken.  (Taken with instagram)

When I asked my boyfriend what this looked like on, he told me it looked like a hearing aid that a rapper would wear…heartbroken. (Taken with instagram)